Never have i thought that a break up would hurt so much to the point of giving me anxiety.

I would have probably never known that it was anxiety if I did not talk to someone about what I felt at that time and I am grateful to have someone to talk to. 

Who would have known that mental health is so fragile that it will need just that little drop to overfill the glass and make you lose your mind?. The lack of concentration is constantly felt. 

Being sleep deprived and still functioning which appears to be normally on a daily basis is not easy. 

I have been fighting insomnia since weeks now and it is not an easy battle to win; I spent days staring into nothingness wanting to scream and cry out that pain and hearing his voice and those hurtful things he said made the anxiety worse.

A heart break can hurt physically,who would have thought about that?.

The chest pains, the sweaty hands, the increased heartbeats, the feeling of drowning and being unable to breathe; the struggle is real... damn real. I became both physically and emotionally weak, it is like dealing with a thousand of physical pains in one go; it is literally unbearable. At times I feel numb and at times it is like thousands of needles pricking and scratching my skin.

There are days i want to close myself off and there are days where I want someone to pull me out of that hell, though i am aware that it can't be done by anyone else but myself and being an introvert makes the healing process harder.There is also the fear of being judged because if I am being honest here; we live in a judgemental society. This is how anxiety affects me.

I have been strong for long, but i am now weak emotionally. I have been advised to start journaling to vent that rage, that anger and pain that is bottled up inside through words. It is hard to let go of the memories that i once cherished, it is hard to let go of that precious love, it is hard to acknowledge that the one who was my anchor in the rough sea during the storm became the reason of my mental breakdown yet I cannot stop loving him. That's what happen when you love someone truthfully and completely.